I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
