It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
