just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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