I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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