I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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