so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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