I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
