HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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