dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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