I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
