Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
this beer tastes like vomit already
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
