I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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