eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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