the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
