I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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