why didn't you poke me back
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
