The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
My balls are so social today.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
