You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
