it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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