I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
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