so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
