i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
