And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize