I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize