I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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