her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize