got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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