look no pants
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
