Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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