Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
