Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
