Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
