hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
