so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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