i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
