I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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