This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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