def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
