Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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