I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Randomize
