I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize