I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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