we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
