your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Soap is not a condiment
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
