I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
