i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
