Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
