i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize