I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
