it was like his penis was on wheels.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
