Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
