You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
