It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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