I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize