i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How does one acquire holy water?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
