your thong is hanging out like whoa
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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