I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
