I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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