Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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