dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize