When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
