First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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