there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
