Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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