3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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