And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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