A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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