he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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