Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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