don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
