Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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