the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
