what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
