nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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