eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize