so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
