But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
