what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
