its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
