i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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