Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
